By adjusting your attitude to being proactive rather than reactive. Ok easier said than done but just because others (like our superiors) create a world of stress and chaos, doesn’t mean we have to take it all on board. Imagine the difference it would make to your own life, if you were able to control your emotions and desires, in difficult and heated situations. How confident and empowered would you feel?
As our lives become more and more chaotic and in order to shrug off the crazy demands of living and breathing amongst organisational chaos….requires a shift in attitude (from reactive to proactive). Next time you are swamped with tasks to your eye balls, try being proactive by staying positive and feeling like you are in control, by being clear about expectations (prioritising, delegating, being resourceful) and knowing you will do the best you can in the hours you were hired to them. Confidence is knowing you can and will enjoy life after 5pm!
Whether you are interacting in a social or professional environment, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to master the art of assertion. People often confuse assertiveness with aggression or intimidation but that couldn’t be more further from the truth. To me assertiveness equals determination. In my experience, assertive people know what they want, are very determined and clearly define their boundaries. If you are hesitant or reluctant to leverage the assertive you, others will pounce on you, as they will see this as a weakness.
I recently read a great article by LinkedIn influencer, Sir Martin Sorrell, Founder and CEO of WPP who talks about the “7 qualities that will get you hired”. The second being:
The ability to argue
It’s annoying when people disagree with you, but an argument is usually a more constructive exchange than a conversation in which everyone wholeheartedly agrees with each other.
If a leader is surrounded by yes people they learn nothing. Good people know how to stand their ground and make their case – even (especially) when others don’t want to hear what they’re saying.
I couldn’t agree more! Next time you find yourself unable to say no or disagree in a situation, have a go at practicing the art of assertion in order to boost your confidence and get what you want out of life.
I’m not just saying this to sound amazing, trust me it took a lot of experimenting to get to this very noble quote. I can honestly say that once you resolve to do something, and achieve it against all sceptics along your journey, you will feel unstoppable!
For me, all of my success is attributed to challenging the status quo. Now in order to challenge the status quo requires a great deal of confidence. How does one attain such levels of confidence? Speaking from my own experience, in order to boost your confidence, you need to explore your appearance, attitude and behaviour (AAB).
When I enrolled at Curtin University there were so many hurdles to overcome. I needed to look the part, play the part….be the part (enter my AAB model). Most would have given up. Today I proudly display my degrees to all the sceptics who doubted me. Another milestone was receiving my promotion last year when clearly told I wasn’t experienced enough nor ready for one. By challenging the status quo, I self-promoted myself into a Senior Business Analyst role. Again this required a good level of confidence coupled with persistence and being at the right place at the right time. Regardless of what others might think, ultimately what matters is what YOU think and what you are going to do about it.
Now I’m not talking about arrogance or being too big for your own shoes, but more along the lines of genuine confidence, the kind that delivers long-term results, and can only be achieved if you are willing to work hard for it.
Reflecting on my own experiences, each aspiration which ran through my mind required a level of confidence to achieve. Remember you are in control of your confidence…..this is within YOUR power.
Whatever your desire might be, it requires a level of confidence to achieve.
Make a decision today to boost your confidence and achieve your goal(s) for 2015 and beyond! Because if I can, so can you.
Have a great week!
Find that one thing that is unique about you and embrace it, it’s what makes you, you.
Too often we want to conform to what society tells us we should do or be but you should only do so if and when it aligns with your goals, values and beliefs. Challenge the status quo people, you are entitled to it.
Be grateful there is only one you……there wasn’t one before and there won’t be one after…there is only one Lilianna Kovacevic and that is downright cool with me!
A great way to celebrate ‘you’ is to put up pictures or accolades you received over the years which brought you the joy, happiness and confidence you might be lacking right now. Go back to those moments to draw inspiration for your next venture. These are your affirmations that you can achieve your goals no matter what the setbacks might be.
Here’s to celebrating more of you and less of everyone else.
Wishing you all a great week!
Here are some useful tips to ensure you shine for the big judgment day:
- Invest the time in your performance review. You need to be well prepared. Take the time to reflect on the highs and the lows as they are equally important for your development going forward.
- Stay calm, don’t allow your boss to throw you off line….remain professional by showing great poise and integrity.
- Speak with confidence and conviction about any aspect you wrote down in your review.
- Ensure there is enough two-way dialogue….remember it’s not just about you getting feedback but also you asking questions. Be sure to seek examples from your boss on where they thought you were a strong performer and visa-versa. This ensures transparency and avoids ambiguity.
- Don’t be afraid to challenge an opinion and/or judgment, especially if you have ample material to back yourself up.
- Don’t forget to seek independent feedback from both internal and external stakeholders as this will back up all the positive work you have done throughout the year as well as corroborate your strengths.
- Make sure you are aware of your weaknesses so that you are well prepared to counteract these against your strengths.
Arming yourself with the right information is a great way to boost your confidence and ensure you get treated fairly.
For example, by focusing on facts such as quoting a section of an Act (a statistic, credible report and/or result) is going to get you a lot more attention than focusing on a truth about a matter. Whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with a truth, the downfall is that they are raw and emotional, which leave you vulnerable to others perception of your truth. By sticking to cold hard facts, you are less likely to draw too much emotion and allow you to focus on the real issue at hand.
To give a real life example, employee x got fired for pushing his luck with the boss (truth) or employee x got fired for breaching section x of the Fair Work Act (fact).
Now I’m not suggesting be a robot, but once armed with information, know when to pick your moments and when to use a fact over a truth and allow your confidence to shine!